the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
