my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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