you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
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