The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize