How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
