Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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