Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
