Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
