um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
