brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
