I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
