Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Randomize
