I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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