Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
