i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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