sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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