I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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