I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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