I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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