You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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