i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
