Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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