i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
