There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
