Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
They took my balls.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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