I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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