this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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