Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize