the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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