so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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