first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
