No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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