in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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