You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
