non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
