glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i think my mom watched the whole time
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
