She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
