My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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