why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
