the new term for farting is butt boxing.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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