So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
