That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize