Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
