just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
