Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
you would pick up someone in the library
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize