If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
