I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
