Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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