i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I will pee on everything he values.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
