yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
