Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
