Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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