Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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