so that wasnt chicken after all
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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