Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Buhtt sex?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
