I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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