Your dad touched me again.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
