if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
