he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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