if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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