Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
