There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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