hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
