I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
