Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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