did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
