Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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