you guys were way drunker than both of me
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize