giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
